I very much dislike bees

In my childhood I had a traumatic experience involving bees. (I may or may not exaggerate that. It's been many years now that I think my subconscious makes it even more traumatic than it really was...)

But being the considerate person I am, I'll spare you the gruesome details. Just know that I fear them greatly.

On Sunday I found out my parents want to get into bee keeping...

Yeah, you read that right.
Unfortunately.

Reality Dreams?

Sometimes I can't remember my dreams from reality.

It's almost a daily occurence these days...

Did I go to work? - Or was that a dream?
Is it the weekend? - Or was that a dream?
Am I really stuck in Russia? - Or was that a dream?

Did I cut my hair? - Or was that a dream?

Am I really blind? - Or was that a dream?

Seriously... It's a huge problem these days.

The other day my friends and I saw a bumblebee larger than the size of our thumbs. They were going crazy while trying to get a picture of it as proof! Personally, I thought they were a little silly and thought it wasn't such a big deal, after all - there are bigger bumblebees out there. I quickly told them of the time I saw a bumblebee the size of my fist!!

The instant I finished saying that sentence to them was when I realized that that was not reality, but in fact, a very strange dream I once had. I then tried to explain to my friends that it was a dream. (I still can't tell if they believe me or just think I'm crazy...)

But I promise you this - I really did see [in a dream] a bumblebee the size of my fist!

Potatoes Potatoes

The other day my friend and I travelled up the mountain to shoot a potatoe launcher. Now, I've never seen one before and didn't really know what to expect.. but I'm telling you this was no potatoe launcher. It was a freakin cannon! It was huge!! We did a few dry runs and the noise it made was incredible. I couldn't wait to load a potatoe into that monster of a cannon.

The time had come. The potatoe was loaded. We sprayed some fuel. We lit the fire....

Nothin.

Tried it again.

Nothin.

Then to our dismay two men came up the trail wanting to 'enjoy the view'. Whatev. So we we're going to wait until they were gone to try again but one of the men noticed the launcher and asked us if it was a potatoe launcher. Yup. Apparently he knew all about them.

He told us stories of how he used to make them out of metal and use actual gun powder. It sounded dangerous but pretty legit. This man really knows what he's talking about. Maybe he could help us fix our problem!

He began telling us that we needed much MUCH more fuel and to stick the can directly into the hole then light that sucker. As he was telling Kyle all of this I was just observing, from a safe distance. This man was wearing a long sleeve shirt, but something wasn't right.

OH MY GOODNESS!

The man was missing an entire arm! I don't think it's smart to take advice on how to lauch a cannon from a man missing one arm.

I looked at Kyle trying to get his attention. I failed...

Good thing the launcher failed too.

That's enough fuel and fire for me. I'd rather keep both of my arms, thank you.

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time there was a young 14 year-old girl who was in her last week of the 8th grade. She was anticipating the fun, end of year activities. But most of all, she was anticipating the summer.

The night before the second to last day of school, this girl went on a hike with her young women's group. Being the competitive type, she challenged another young 14 year-old to have a race down the mountain. (The winner of the race is irrelevant to the story...) At the bottom of the hill this girl's toe made the loudest POP you ever did hear. It was heard 'round the world. These young girls laughed and joked about how 'old' they were getting. (Ironic, considering the events to follow.)

Well her toe popped, which didn't really hurt, and she thought nothing more about it. The next morning she got out of bed and fell when she tried to take a step. Her toe was in so much pain! So she hopped to the shower, but the toe eventually got better to where she could put some pressure on it and limp to get around. (Being the second to last day of school, she chose to suck it up.) But, sadly, the pain progressed during the day and when she got home she showed her mother. Lucky for her, her mother is a registered nurse. Turns out she had GOUT.

GOUT = a form of arthritis most commonly found in men of 64. (Interesting fact: It is commonly referred to as "the disease of kings" or "the rich man's disease") Yeah, who's old now?!

Her aunt just so happened to have one of those black boot things. This help take the pressure off of the foot so you can walk. However, her aunt is much taller than her and the boot goes past her knee (which caused some challenges in walking). It was the last day of school and she had to wear this black boot that was much too tall for a 14 year-old and also was just ridiculous looking... but she enjoyed her last day of school anyways.

First day of summer came. Still in the boot.
Second day of summer came. Still in the boot.

Third day of summer - FREEDOM!!! Finally all this anticipation came to an end and she started to enjoy what she had been waiting for! At 14 you're too young too work, but you're old enough to go out and do fun things. It's the time of a young girl's life!

3 days later, however, she got a seriouly bad case of pneumonia.

So long summer...

(TRUE STORY)

Got Milk?

Dear Milk

I have loved you since the day I was born.

Our relationship has grown so strong over the past 20 years.

Imagine what it could be if my mom would buy the whole you instead of just 1% of you.

(You have so much greatness, she just can't see that yet. Give her time.)

You are always waiting so patiently in the fridge for me.

You never complain.

You always make me feel better.

However, my nutrition teacher made me take a test.

She said that 4 gallons a week wasn't good for me.

I thought she was crazy!

Then I got the results back...

She was right.

I bought a water bottle the other day.

I know what you're thinking.

I'm sorry.

Reminiscing

When I was in highschool I had the opportunity to participate in an internship. I was able to intern with Mrs. Collado's 5th grade elementary class. It was a great learning experience for me.I was able to show my creative side by decorating the bulletin boards, the classroom, and creating games for the kids. I was also able to share my knowledge when opportunities came up where I was able to teach the kids lessons and help them with their assignments. I was even able to exercise my authority by administering tests and discipling when necessary.

But more importantly, I was able to improve upon my athletic abilities during recess. (Yes I went to recess with them :) There is a time and place for grading papers and recess is NOT the time nor the place.) Those 10 and 11 years olds amazed me with their incredible athletic ability. They were some serious competition when we got a game of kickball going.I mean it. They really were impressive! However, being 17 at the time I think I had quite an advantage over them. Especially when it came to tetherball.

I think there's some kind of unspoken rule where you're suppose to let younger kids win when you're playing a game, or atleast make it a really really close game. But... with my competitive nature I showed NO mercy! (I'm still undefeated to this day :)) They had no chance. Poor kids.

OHH who am I kidding?!

Truth be told, they were the one's who were letting me win.

I miss them..

Catch Me. Please?

When I was 12 years old I received a tetanus shot. Then minutes later my shoulders really started to ache and began to feel rather heavy. “Hmmm, that’s strange.” I thought. I just tried to ignore it.

Another minute or so went by and then I lost all feeling. This included my feet which, as you can imagine, made it rather difficult to simply stand up. “Wow, now that‘s really strange.” I thought. So I then put all of my concentration into balancing so I could just stand upright. (I probably should have lied down but I was more concerned about what the 200+ people in the gymnasium would have thought of me. Keep in mind I was only 12.:))

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any stranger, everything went black and I could no longer see. Perfect. Once this happened then I thought maybe it was finally time to tell someone. I knew Kelsey was behind me so I said, “Kelsey, catch me.” In the darkness I heard a loud BANG! Although I couldn’t feel anything at the time (trust me, I was feeling it for a long time afterwards!) I knew exactly what had happened.

I ‘awoke’ to find myself flat on my back and surrounded by my mother and a bunch of doctor’s. They were all calling my name and asking a bunch of questions all at once. I couldn’t comprehend anything they were trying to ask me. It all felt like a dream. I only had ONE thing on my mind, so first thing’s first - I sat up, looked directly at Kelsey and said, “YOU DIDN’T CATCH ME!” (Apparently she never heard me…)

The doctors told me my nerves from getting a shot is probably what caused me to faint. Pffft! I wasn’t even nervous. But they ARE the doctors, so I’ve avoided needles at all costs over the past 8 years. I didn't want a repeat of what happened and I knew I couldn't count on Kelsey to catch me ;) I had to get some blood drawn the other day and when the doctor told me that I think that I may have gone into shock. So she took me to the room where they take your blood and the nurse is preparing for me. I noticed one vile on the counter. I can’t believe I have to fill that whole thing!! Then she puts 4 more on the counter.. Ugh. Now I’m getting really nervous.

Here comes that needle, it’s been 8 years - I’ve forgotten what to expect. But to my surprise I barely felt it. I watched as the blood spurted into the vile. This. Is. AWESOME! I don’t think she could have filled up those 5 viles any faster.

I’m actually positive that she didn’t get enough blood. Infact, I should probably go back and have her draw 5 more viles just for good measure. And this time, I want to stick the needle in.